I’m planning on having a baby but don’t want my colleagues to know yet. How can I keep it on the down low?
Once you start actively trying for a baby, it can feel like the whole world knows your secret. In fact, people are rarely as observant as you think. It’s worth having a few stock answers ready, though, just in case. Here are a few ways to throw your nosy colleagues off the scent:
Why you’ve stopped drinking
If someone notices that you have stopped drinking alcohol, you can always say that you are detoxing. Alternatively, you can also mention that you are driving and cannot drink.
Why you’re avoiding caffeine
If there’s one giveaway that you’re trying for a baby it’s probably switching to decaf. If anyone asks, tell them you’ve had trouble sleeping lately so you’re taking a break from the espressos to see if it helps.
Change the subject
If the topic of babies comes up at work, be vague. ‘I’d love to be a mum someday’ is all you need to say. Alternatively sidestep the conversation altogether with a swift ‘Wow! I love your top, is that new?’ White lies are fine, too. Once your workmates know you’re pregnant – and you announce the news in your own time – they’ll totally understand your need for privacy.
Don’t feel pressured
It’s against the law for an employer to ask about your baby plans. So don’t feel you have to be honest even when asked directly. You don’t even have to let your employer know you’re pregnant until X weeks before the baby is due – what you choose to do is nobody’s business until then.
There’s no knowing when you’re going to get pregnant, so don’t let the future dictate your present plans. It’s fine to put yourself forward for exciting new projects and promotions – you can cross the pregnancy bridge when you come to it.
* Please note that we cannot always reflect all current legal information across all points, but you can always consult your local government websites for more information such as https://www.gov.uk/browse/childcare-parenting